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Submitted 01 Sep 2006 Sorry to hear that you are still confused and unhappy. You want to stop having thoughts about kids? You want to be able to control your actions more easily but still have the fantasies? You want to be loved. I understand that. You enjoy the thrill of falling in love. I understand that, for sure. Being lonely is one thing, hating yourself is another. Please learn to be more comfortable with yourself the way you are. Without that, it will always be hard to make friends and enjoy relationships. You want to have special relationships with boys? Great, just limit them to what's appropriate. Enjoy your fantasies, but keep them to yourself. You want to find guys that will love you, or at least be compassionate and caring friends? Make yourself available. Go looking, even though your heart's not in it. You don't have to fit into the gayteen "meat-market" mentality. Nor do you have to limit yourself to gay friends. I wish we could get the guys to start using the "discussion board" here on AgeTaboo more. Get the readers to talk to each other, in an easy, fast, free-flowing dialog where we could be friends and support each other. Online friends aren't quite the same as real, but it does keep you from feeling so alone. It does offer you a wide range of ideas and experiences that you don't get from being the only boylover you know. Cody (17)

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